love.miss.nothing

assalamualaikum

its hard. its tiring me. help me Allah. cure me. listen to my du'a. Allahuakbar.

forth day of chicken pox. illness is love.

high grade fever. 38.7'C

fatigue + malaise.

disphagia.

sore throat.

dizziness.

***

mom,

i miss you so much.

when i was young,

i got my fever.

you are the one who worry so much!

nobody ever did this since you're not here.

you made me lovely and delicious meals.

and i never reject it.

because you made it with love,

and smile.

i can feel it inside when i ate them.

umm..

in other world i live now,

they,

just ignored.

they don't care much.

just like that.

offhanded.

you sick, sick.

you happy, nothing.

you sad, even nothing.

too far.

the differences.

sometimes i don't understand.

do they love islam?

do they care about silaturrahim in islam?

or, me who are so needy and greedy?

i'm so sorry for stupid me..

but i know what am i talking about.

just think,

yeah.

that's what i am doing, now.

MOM.

i love you,

ONLY YOU.

i need you, but you aren't here.

i don't blame you, not God too.

but i know, i am useless and heartless without you.

just let them be, like i am not there.

it's better, than to be hurt.

again.

*sigh*

i hate the things going around, but it's the fact to face alone.

but Allah said, He loves the person who keep the patience inside.

i'll try mom, i'll try.

so much tries.

and i now what it's like, to feel the pain again.

alone.

Allah,

i will try.

to do my best, to be the best.

not to be the best among my friends,

but to be the best of me.

i hate to fight.

well i know i am stupider than them,

but i do trust You.

You listen and understand MORE.

thank you Allah.

T_T

***